The transition to adulthood
It can be stressful talking to your daughter(s) about puberty, but the truth is, it doesn’t have to be. Everyone goes through puberty. It’s a healthy and exciting part about growing up and should be treated as such. Talking to your daughter about puberty can stop her being frightened about what is happening to her body. If you want your girl to transition to adulthood smoothly, unafraid open communication is imperative.
Talk about It All the Time
Don’t wait for a certain age to have the talk with your daughter. Waiting until she gets her period is going to make for a scary experience for her. Instead, start from the moment she starts talking and asking questions, by bringing up the topic or pointing out things that are happening from a young age.
Keep Some Things Private
For some things, it’s okay to explain that it must be private between you and her or her doctor. Explain how some people get nervous about the topic, so keeping some things private can make it easier.
Answer Questions When Asked Directly
When your child asks a question, always to answer it directly and honestly. You can use the right words that she’ll understand at her age, but it’s best to be direct and use scientific words rather than pet names or silly words.
Create an Open-Door Policy
Let your daughter know that she can come to you any time with any questions. It also helps to suggest other adults that you know and trusts, such as your doctor, an aunt, or their opposite-sex parent, because it’s always good to have more support than less.
Try a Book to Guide You Both
If you are nervous and struggling (and even if you aren’t), it can help to find a good scientific book that is designed for a teenage girl’s knowledge. This will help you both because it’ll go over it all. Let her read it and then ask questions whenever she wants.
Talk without Judgement
When you talk about issues, it’s imperative that you avoid casting judgment on things. For example, what if you said something derogatory about homosexuality and your child is homosexual or transsexual? What if something has happened to them that they didn’t have words for until you talked to them? Will they ever tell you now?
Be Honest
It’s good to be open and honest about how you think of things and why. However, it’s also okay to acknowledge that your teenage daughter may have different ideas about her own life. You can make household rules, but let her be honest too by withholding judgment even if you state you disagree.
Help Her Prepare
Make a period kit together; redecorate her room. Do everything you can to help her prepare for this exciting time in a positive and upbeat way. She’ll thank you for it someday.
Talking about puberty will get more comfortable if you start as soon as your daughter asks questions. You’ll have many opportunities, such as during TV shows, movies, and life events, to bring these issues into normal daily
conversation. That way, you take out the scary parts by making it normal to talk about puberty in everyday life.
Martin van Dijk
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